You Matter! (part 2)
So, did you have a good think about my last blog called “Is you G spot – G for guilt – controlling your life?”
Is your mind being cooperative and ready to practise new ways to put your needs first? Or is it full of questions and objections? “This is silly, a mother needs to dedicate all her time and energy to her children”, “Other mothers will say I am selfish!”, “I don’t mind putting my children first, they matter so much to me!”, “It sounds like hard work, I can’t be bothered!”, “Who says I matter?”, “I do not have enough time!”, “I am so unfit, I will make a fool of myself if I exercise!”, "My children should be my only focus, I don't mind giving up my hobbies"…
If your mind did tell you something like that, no surprise there. It is not a sign of weakness but rather a sign of normality. The fact is, every normal human being experiences this response when they step out of their comfort zone into a challenging situation. If you don’t experience this response when you take a risk (whatever risk!) then you must be a fictitious character from a James Bond film!
My advice is to give your mind a name (mine is called Ernest because he is a nagging, undermining old bloke!) and thank him for its feedback each time it throws unhelpful thought at you when trying a new challenge. Once you’ve thanked him, defuse from the negative thought (make a conscious decision not to let the thought control you) and do what really matters to you anyway. The best way to do this is to practise Mindfulness and be present. Observe what happens next…. Absolutely nothing bad, I guarantee you! Start with little, easy challenges like going for a walk or reading a book or anything you enjoy doing instead of washing up or ironing. Notice how good it feels to show your mind (whatever its name!) that YOU are in charge. You have that power. We all do! But don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself, see what happens and notice how you feel.
As part of my health and confidence coaching, I help many mums defuse from the vicious cycle of negative, interfering thoughts that stop them from living a fulfilling life, so that they bounce back to happiness. If this sounds like something that could help you too, please contact me today for a FREE 45-minute-discovery call (don’t let your mind convince you otherwise, you only have 5 seconds between having the idea and your interfering mind trying to convince you otherwise!) . I will practise defusion with you so that you understand how powerful and easy this technique truly is!
Remember, if you care about showing your children how important it is to look after themselves, you need to walk the talk and do it yourself too! Happy thought defusing! 😉. Anne x
“It is not fear that holds people back. It is their attitude towards fear that keeps them stuck” - Dr. Russ Harris