As a mum, how amazing would it feel to take some “me time”, guilt-free?
When was the last time you took some time off to do something for yourself such as exercising, going shopping, having lunch with a friend or reading a book, simply because you felt like it?
I don’t know about you but since I’ve had my two children (now 13 and 11 years old), those occurrences have happened seldom. What is stopping so many mums from staying the same woman they were before children? I call it the G spot (G for Guilt, of course!). That negative, spiralling feeling always made me move away from the fun activities I used to enjoy pre-children simply because I kept telling myself I would be a terribly selfish mum allowing myself some “me time”. I felt this would not benefit my children anyway so I should forget about my own needs and focus on theirs. After all, they matter more than me, don’t they?!
I am convinced most mums will relate to what happened next: the resentment built up as I sadly denied myself more and more essential little pleasures. This behaviour also had an impact on our children as I was not the fun, happy and fulfilled mum I had always aspired to be. My immediate response to this feeling of resentment would be to comfort eat and feel like a failure. This, in turn, would make me feel worse and even more resentful!
What is your way to deal with this inner pain?
So, what stops us mums allowing ourselves the fun we crave so much? The irony is that we are desperate to provide as much fun as possible to our offsprings ensuring they take part to all sorts of activities. What makes us feel they deserve it all but we don’t?! Do you think your children feel guilt towards you when they accept a birthday party invitation or go to the park with friends? I really don’t think so!
Well, would you like the good news or the good news? YOU can turn this situation around by taking few simple steps and bounce back to fulfilment and happiness whilst being a great mum!
The 1st step is: Identify your own values (what defines you as an individual, what makes you the person you are no matter what!). Some of my key values are tolerance, integrity, fun, empathy and health conscious. Write your values down on a post-it and stick them on your fridge. Acknowledge them and embrace them. From now on, be proud of them and not ashamed of them! And more importantly, meet them as often as you can!
Join me next week for the second part of this “You Matter!” blog to find out about the second step…
But if you really cannot wait until then, please visit my “You Matter” page at www.bouncebackcoaching.co.uk and contact me for a 30-minute FREE consultation on 07803126487 or at firstname.lastname@example.org
I look forward to hearing from you 😊